It's 8 degrees here in southwestern CT, but the sun is bright and full of the warmth of March. And so, my neighbors have come by to party. Nuthatch, Carolina wren, sparrows, woodpeckers, cardinals, tufted titmice, juncos, chickadees, they are all sharing the food and promise of spring.These friends of mine, along with a cup of tea comfort me as I sit with the sadness of losing Callie and reading of Erin's next round with f-ing (sorry, that's my anger talking) cancer. And I am feeling vulnerable about tomorrow, when Gretta will turn 18 and Peter and I will turn another page in our parenting book. Four remarkable children, now "adults". Wow.
The steam rising from my mug and the birdsong outside remind me that all we really have for sure is the present moment. I am feeling my breath come in and go out, feeling the sting of tears, feeling the warmth of the sun and I am filled with gratitude that I am not alone on this journey of life. The hurt I am feeling today is caused by being connected, by loving and being loved. Sometimes it's a hard price to pay. But I am l willing to pay it.
Great picture of the redbellied woodpecker and cardinal! I do so agree with you...that the pain we feel at the death of a dear cat or the illness of a friend is because of love and caring. So while sad, it's also an affirmation of life. Friends who have had cats or dogs die swear never to get another one so they don't have to feel that pain again; my own feeling is that there are so many cats and dogs out there needing loving homes, i'm not going to turn one away just because it will pain me when they die. Congratulations on Gretta turning 18 and having 4 such great kids. They still remain your kids no matter how old and grown up they become!
ReplyDeleteA very sad time for you. I'm thinking of you and my thoughts are with Erin and her family too as they go through another hard round of fighting that terrible disease.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Gretta. And Mom, when she leaves for college in the fall, you can always make a trip to toronto to take your mind off of the empty nest.
I hope you don't mind that i've given you a (well-deserved!) award that you can pick up on my blog.
ReplyDeleteSuch a poignant time for you, Karen.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending thoughts of comfort and compassion along to you.
Be well.