Be joyful even though you have considered all the facts...practice resurrection. -Wendell Berry

Thursday, May 8, 2014

tough days

it became so warm i put some screens in the windows 
and put together a jar of bengal spice sun tea.
100 balsam seedlings just arrived on the front porch.
guess what we're doing this weekend!
chives and garlic are up.
everything else is waiting.
tet a tet.
 fiddleheads.

Ten days ago, while "burning the candle at both ends", I fell on our deck in CT and had four stitches taken in my forehead. I also banged up one of my bionic knees quite badly. It was exactly the wrong time to have such an accident. *sigh* On Saturday, I had the stitches removed here in VT and got the name of a local orthopedist. This morning I had a follow up appointment and have been prescribed an anti inflammatory to reduce the swelling. I hate taking medicine. But this is pretty important. I have spent many hours lately with my knee iced and elevated, not exactly conducive to happy unpacking here in Vermont.

Because I am paying special attention to integrity, I recently resigned from some volunteer work that I really value. I did not want to risk even the slightest appearance of a conflict of interest. I know it was the right call, but I am saddened by letting it go. 

We got some sad news from a person we love, of a diagnosis that really, really stinks. Privacy demands that I say nothing else, I hope you will understand.

Due to our mismatched schedules, I have not seen Batman since a week ago Tuesday. Oh, how I have missed him! We have not been together here in Vermont yet to truly celebrate our dream-to-reality accomplishment. He arrives tonight, so there is champagne on ice. 

I do not share these things with you, dear readers, for sympathy. It just seems right to be authentic, to let you know that with all the blessings I enjoy and the charmed picture I share here, sometimes life wearies me. (Not to mention the problems in the wider world that rage on around us.)

This slump will not last long. The days are growing longer, the earth is awakening here in Vermont and there is much to be done. A balance between purpose, mindfulness and quiet reflection seems to keep me on course. Thanks for letting me ramble today. It seems only fair that I invite you to lay down a burden or two here as well or send me an e-mail. I am here for you. xo 

7 comments:

  1. I hope the day ended well, with Batman and champagne (careful mixing those with NSAIDS!! :) ) I was bummed that we didn't get to see your new fair state this weekend, but we are enjoying my mom (though, we've had several difficult conversations in 24 hours, but ended with a laugh tonight about playing my "fun" new hospice card game about death and dying!!)

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  2. all will be well.....I firmly believe.... hang in there!

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  3. Hope you enjoyed the champagne! I know those mountains will wrap you up and see you through. Hugs!

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  4. Slumps are good. We always emerge stronger. Sending you love.

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  5. There is so much that is positive in your life right now, Karen, some negatives are bound to come. I'm concerned about your poor head and knee - hope everything feels better soon. Yes, I too believe that all will be well.

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  6. Your heart has been divided and fettered for a long while, Karen. You have set it free and so it is understandable that your feelings are expanding as your heart does. I cherish your honesty and willingness to share. It is how we are better able to support one another, sending healing energies and grace across the miles when keenly needed. Finding new doctors is a chore, not eased by necessity. And the good lord gave us his pharmacy for a reason.
    I am happy to know you are remembering your promise to yourself and finding it possible to make difficult decisions for your personal needs. Perhaps the head and knee incident was a karmic nudge…?
    And our spring, though long in coming, is all the sweeter for our anticipation of it, yes??

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  7. Dear Karen, just catching up on my blog reading and wanting to send you a big virtual hug. Life is always a series of ups and downs and it seems that in the most intense times (good intense) there's plenty of negatives mixed in and they seem even more intense.

    I hope your head and your knee are feeling better. When we moved last fall I stepped down off our U-Haul (thankfully after almost everything had been loaded) and strained my ankle. My driving ankle (and 14 hours of driving ahead of me!).

    You are on the right path, Karen, and it fills me with joy to see you and your family doing your bit, making the world a better and more beautiful place. That is, really, all any of us can ever do.

    Thank you for sharing your ups and downs (and all of that beauty) with us.

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